Hash Browns with Sausage Gravy and Fried Egg

7/20/2026

Hash Browns with Sausage Gravy and Fried Egg

Sometimes you just gotta use up what is in the fridge, and this breakfast did that brilliantly. I had a little bit of leftover sausage gravy from when I made biscuits and gravy for Keshav a week or so ago, and since I did not want to throw it out I needed some way to use it. This is not so much a recipe as it is just "using stuff up". I made some hash browns with a potato that needed to be used, covered it in the leftover gravy, and topped it with a fried egg--BAM! He loved it and ate it all up. 

I hope he has a better day at work today. Last night he was so sad after his last patient lost it and the family took it out on Keshav. I was reading an article today about why caregivers for Ebola patients in Africa are being targeted by community members--why do we attack those who are trying to help?

The article gave several reasons for the hostile behavior, but it usually boils down to fear and feeling powerless. They say that those who come into the Emergency Room are having the worst day of their lives, and I suppose they feel they need to blame someone. Nurses are easily available in those situations. I felt so badly for Keshav last night, he seemed so broken by the behavior of the family that I wanted to kill them. Don't they know he is the one who is helping? 

He told me that today was better at work, and I did my small part by serving him hash browns with gravy and a fried egg in the morning. Sometimes a good breakfast can tip the scales. 

*

Tonight I watched the Heartstopper movie, which serves as the finale of the series. I loved it because of how it showed so many real versions of queer relationships. I am so much older than the characters in this film, but I still remember what it felt like as a teen to have a crush--it feels life changing. But unlike these characters, I had to act in the shadows--I could not be open about my attraction to boys. 

There was a scene where one of the characters notices an older gay couple in a cafe, and it made me think of Madonna's "Papa Don't Preach" video, where her and the guy she gets pregnant with in the video see an older couple watching them in the throes of "new" love. The older couple looks on with a mix of emotions: nostalgia, envy, pride? When you are young you never think you will be older, or god forbid old, but then it happens in the blink of an eye, and one day you are sitting in a cafe watching young people fall in love.

In Heartstopper, they show how there are no guarantees with love, that teen relationships seldom last, that life changes us all, and maturing from romance to real love requires a lot of effort. The main characters stay together after a few bumps in the road, but there is no assurance that they will mature into the old couple in the cafe. Nick's character has unresolved trauma around his father that manifests as substance abuse and low self-worth, and Charlie continues to struggle with an eating disorder when triggered by feelings of abandonment. They have their work cut out for them. 

But I enjoyed watching the film because it was written with heart, and it allowed me to not just remember who I once was, but also to feel that part still alive inside of me.

*

When I was young, I was like most people my age in that I both aligned with the fashion of the time while also rebelling against tradition. It was a great time--the 80's, when there was an "anything goes" aesthetic that allowed us to experiment. For a time I was part of a cool group who all worked at the Crest Cafe in Hillcrest, San Diego; like most 20-somethings we were overly maudlin about our love lives while tossing our hair out of our eyes. We were young and pretty and had Bowie's "Under Pressure" in the background of our angsty days and nights, while we worried if our crush was crushing on us while simultaneously trying to dress like Madonna but have it look original. 

I am now 63--far from young--but I am still drawn to the subversive and the cutting edge of art and fashion. After a period of feeling "old", I am acutely aware that I am not old, and I could still take chances without the populace bursting into laughter. 

It is perhaps telling that Madonna, our one-time muse, just released a #1 album at the age of 67. If she can still take over a club, why can't I? Though truth be told, my ambitions are not as high as hers--I would be satisfied just walking into a club and having a corner of the dance floor for 30 minutes. 

*

I wonder at the title of the movie I watched tonight: Heartstopper. The obvious interpretation of the title is to imagine it is descriptive of a love that stops one's heart. But another interpretation, one that resonates more with me, is that if you stop moving, if you stop loving, if you stop playing in life, your heart might stop as well. 

The way I see it is what stops your heart is not love, but the lack of it. Not necessarily for a person, but for life, for wonder, for the small things that take our breath away if we give them even the slightest attention. 

When Keshav came home today he reported having a better day than yesterday, and said that he heard nothing negative about the day before from his supervisors. I looked at my husband--my husband--and marveled at how I am the one to whom he is reporting about his day. Nobody else. Me.

It made my heart beat a little bit faster.