1/9/2026
I made the breakfast above on 1/5, which was last week as of this writing. You don't need me to tell you that it is a fried egg on toast--you can clearly see that! Every once in a while I choose to make something that is quick, easy, and still enjoyed by Keshav, and fried egg on toast checks all those categories. I make his fried eggs the way I like 'em--with crispy edges. So far he has not complained so either he likes them this way too or he ain't speaking up. Keshav is not a person to not speak up when it comes to what he likes and does not like, so I am pretty confident that I am in the clear.
He likes his bread lightly toasted, however, whereas I like mine pretty dark. That's not a big deal to accommodate. Oh, and his egg yolks MUST be runny! I can't believe I have not written about this before, because it is one of his quirkiest habits, but he loves to "pop" the runny yolk as if it is a pimple. Gross, I know, but it works for him. I guess it makes sense because he is obsessed with popping pimples. If you have one that is ready to be popped, consider yourself warned about being around him.
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I sometimes wonder if his tastes will change over time. I know that we as personalities often change over time, but does that change include what and how we like to eat? Maybe it is different for each individual. Speaking for myself, I have definitely changed in both personality and food preferences over time.
This past weekend I arranged an informal gathering of a few of my former Whole Foods colleagues, some of whom I had not seen in a dozen years, and some of whom I had seen more recently. Those who came to the gathering were all friends who I cherished during my 11 years working for the company, and I have never stopped missing those close friendships. It felt so easy back then, perhaps because we saw each other nearly every day--it was like school in a way. We can see our work colleagues more than we see our spouses sometimes.
Anyway, they were telling stories about me, and one person said that when she started working at the store, I told her, "If you are still here next week, I'll remember your name." Another woman who worked there loves to tell the story of how she was introduced to me, and I said to her, "I don't need to learn your name because you probably won't be here very long."
We all laughed at these stories, because they knew that I didn't really mean it when I said these things, but it got me thinking, how was I ever that person?
When I worked at Whole Foods, I didn't suffer fools gladly, and there were a lot of fools there, including those in leadership positions above me. You can get a good grocery job with benefits without having a college degree, so there were people there who, well, let's say they lacked ambition. The two women who I dissed were not in that category, so I missed the mark with them, and they both became close friends. But I admit that I was a tough cookie in those days. I was not kind to anyone who got in the way of my work.
It makes me wonder if I have changed as much as I like to think I have, and the conclusion I arrive at is that I have not. It is my circumstances that have changed. I suffer fewer fools these days, because I no longer work at Whole Foods. But I certainly am a tough cookie in the therapy room, especially when I am working with difficult couples. I am just a bit more compassionate in my toughness, but that is easier to do because in my office I encounter more foolishness than fools.
Who we are is always influenced by our surroundings, the era we were born into, where we live, and more. My circumstances have changed drastically over the course of my lifetimes and I have changed how I respond to them accordingly. In many cases, I have had to become a fighter. I still have a fighter in me, which is a good thing to have I suppose.
At the gathering with my friends this past weekend, I did not have the fighter out. This is because, like a fried egg on toast, the gathering checked all my favorite categories. No suffering required.
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