Mango Lassi with a Donut

 

Mango Lassi

12/3/2025

To be honest, I made this breakfast for Keshav yesterday morning, not today. It was a simple Mango Lassi, which is basically a mango smoothie with yogurt and milk. I wanted to make him a light breakfast since we ate pretty heavy over the holiday weekend, like everyone else in the country. You might notice a half glazed donut in the background of the picture, which he did not eat and gave to me to eat (I did!). He likes donuts, but did not feel like having one yesterday, even if it was only a half. Sometimes you feel like a donut, sometimes you "donut" (pun intended). 

We both went back to work yesterday, and he had a rougher day than I did. He had a charge nurse who was all over him during his shift, enough to ruin his day, according to him. That made me sad--why do people in positions of power feel the need to belittle those whom they supervise? What are they hoping to accomplish by making others feel like shit about their work? Isn't nursing hard enough without having your supervisor tear you down? 

I say fuck this cunt. There is a way to hold your charges accountable for their work without making them feel targeted. My guess is that this charge nurse has some unresolved issues to work on. I listened to Keshav complain about her and resisted the urge to advise him, but I did tell him that if he chooses to speak directly to her, I would be happy to help him with what to say so that he does not get himself into a pickle. 

My day went well, which was surprising since I had three couples clients in a row and you just never know how those sessions are going to go. Fortunately, all three couples are open to letting me direct the work in the room, which makes it flow smoother. My goal with couples is to move them towards mutual understanding and connection, but believe it or not some couples, who are paying me to do this, still resist my efforts and push back. I know why they do this--change is hard even if we want it--but it does make the work more difficult than it already is. I don't look forward to those couples, and sometimes I need to refer them out. 

"Going back to work" is different for me these days since I work for myself. It feels like more of a choice because it literally is my choice. I took all of Thanksgiving week off, a luxury that I have earned but don't take for granted. I needed the full week because we hosted Keshav's parents for Thanksgiving, and I wanted to show them "what I can do". 

I believe that I succeeded in doing this. The week was enjoyable for us, and I am confident his parents appreciated the efforts I put in to present a homemade dinner. I know I could do these things more simply, but I don't find that very satisfying. I have never shied away from effort.

Keshav asked me, after his parents left, if I felt the visit was "worth it". I told him that I felt it was, and that I was officially "off the hook" for life for hosting Thanksgiving dinner for the family. I have done it twice now, with the first time being at their home, unexpectedly! It is someone else's turn now--and I will be happy to just "show up", with a homemade dessert of course. 

My understanding of Indian family culture is that many family interactions are transactional--they are always bargaining for "cards", as Keshav calls them. If one of them goes home for one holiday, for example, then they don't have to do it again the following year. There are a series of trade-offs, so to speak. While all families have a version of this going on, I see it more in some cultures than others, and it bothers me because the dynamic can interfere with family members actually enjoying one another. 

My goal this Thanksgiving was to disrupt that and invite Keshav's parents into relaxing and having fun during their visit. I was pleasantly surprised to find that easier to do than I expected! We truly enjoyed their company, and vice versa. This is why I feel that the visit was "worth it". Real connection occurred--I did not need to measure what was gained or lost. I hope that Keshav feels the same way, even a little bit. 

Now we are into the Christmas season, so this week I will change out the home decor from Autumn to Christmas. It is also time to plan our next big gathering, which will happen on the 24th. I have a lot of different thoughts about what I want to do for this gathering, especially since I have, in recent years, begun to wonder if it is "worth it"...